Sunday, August 7, 2011

A cold?!

Yep, I have one. Unless it's a flu. And then it's not a cold. It's more like a... dogfuckin' sonofabitch, whatever it is. My whole head is full of snot. Painful snot. Gah. Both nostrils are not workin'. Brain is not workin'. Whatever part of me makes me cough and sneeze is workin' overtime.

Donate something toward the cause of NyQuil, orange juice and chicken soup.

Saturday, August 6, 2011


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Bambi was a Republican.

Let's see how many A.L.F. sympathizers' heads that asplodes.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Back on the Mac, BITCHEZ!

So I'm back on the Mac, using OS X 10.7 Lion. I almost just put Lion in quotes, the way I've been seeing an assload of halfwits doing. Proof that stupidity is contagious, I guess. Anyway, I'm likin' it real well. Makes muh dick hard. Okay, so there's one little niggle -- and no, a niggle is not a furry little black creature that lives under a rock and bursts into song. Well, maybe it is. Anyway, here's my one complaint about Lion -- somewhere in it, lurking, is a pretty serious memory leak. Now I'm not gonna bitch TOO loudly about that -- not yet, anyway -- because Lion is still at "point-oh." Which is to say, ten-point-seven-point-oh. If it gets to around "point-two" and the memory leak is there, bet your purty pink lady-parts that I'll put up an economy sized fuss. But I'm sure Apple will fix it.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Bottle Blonde Black Women

Okay, seriously – what the fuck. Why? Can anybody tell me why?! It’s like a tank turret on top of a Prius, for fuck’s sake. It’s like a penguin wearing a firefighter outfit.

Does. Not. Work.

And aside from the fact that it looks aggressively artificial, and therefore fake, and therefore stupid… black women are beautiful. As they are. You’re not just embracing the unnatural, ladies, it’s like you’re running away from the real you.

That’s never attractive. Ever. Stop it.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

My cat thinks he’s a dog.

The little fucker barks at anybody who comes to the door. Well, not barks as in the sound, but the behavior. Anybody knocks at the door, he runs over to it and starts meowing at whoever it is. Let ‘em in and he meows and growls at ‘em for about a minute, then sniffs at ‘em, then starts wagging his tail and lickin’ ‘em.

My cat is insane.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Communists Hate The United States

They have a million names for themselves, but when you smell the stench of anti-American hatred, you know it’s a Communist you’re dealing with. If you want an example of about how subtle they tend to get, read any “weekly alternative” newspaper. Most of those are put out by the Village Voice Media.

The local version of the Red Rag here in north Tempe is the “Phoenix New Times.” Most seditious lump of shit you’ll ever lay your eyes on. Invariably – invariably – they defend illegal aliens to the detriment of American citizens.

It would be nice if they would at least come clean about their hatred toward Americans.