But you'll come back. You'll always come back. Because this blog is a slow motion train wreck. I'm telling you that right up front. Nothing here is going to inspire or uplift you. Fuck that shit. I'm here to appeal to only your most base interests, only the most banal sense of humor and your sickest, most immature inner beast. I'm here to make Seth MacFarlane look like a goddamn parochial school nun.
So get your bibs on, you nasty little creatures. This boat might look like it's floating on a chocolate river, but I'm warning you right here and now: you're in the sewer. Don't come over here and puke on my shoes if you forget and take a big mouthful.